Life isn’t always going to be positive and it’s not always going to go as planned. We have bad days, get in bad moods and feel sorry for ourselves at times. However, when it starts to become a habit, we may not even realize it’s happening. All of a sudden it seems like overnight we’re thinking negatively, we’re talking negatively to ourselves and negative things keep happening to us. But this isn’t a coincidence. When we focus on the negative, the negative grows. Unsure if this is you or not? Find out below.
1. Being Attracted to Drama
Do you feel like you have a lot of drama in your life? And not revolved around one specific person, but just in general? A continuous streak of drama can be related to the way you think and view things. Chances are your negative mindset is bringing you towards the drama – thus making it feel like you always have drama going on. Because you do. Next time you’re around or involved in drama, take a step back to acknowledge it. Once you notice it – figure out if it’s something you actually NEED to be dealing with in your life, or if it’s something you can remove yourself from.
2. Lack of Listening
People who are negative tend to block out people who are not. Whether you’re in a predicament, want some advice, or are venting to someone, you’re completely engaged. But then when it comes time to get feedback from someone else (especially someone who is positive) – you stop listening. This is because you have narrowed your mindset to only see your point of view. So even if someone suggests an easy fix to a problem you have, you don’t hear it. Next time you have a situation you are discussing and you receive positive feedback or a solution – think about what would happen if you took the advice. Would that solve the problem? How much better would you feel if the problem was fixed?
3. Taking Things Personally
On the contrary to not listening, you often will take things personally. You feel that everyone and everything is out to get you, prove you wrong, or that you just have plain old back luck. And this is not because of coincidence, this is because negatively you have convinced yourself otherwise. How a situation makes you feel is based on you. And if you take time to notice these instances, you’ll notice that your reaction is key. Whether it be with a friend, a stranger, or someone at work. How you choose to react – is based on you. “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.” – Charles R. Swindoll.
4. Frequently Instigating
Conflicts arising are inevitable. With coworkers friends, and even strangers. Of course, another party may be in the wrong. However, if you are finding that you’re constantly getting upset or offended in different situations with different people – it’s time to look inward. Your negative mindset could be clouding your judgment. That’s why there are instances when two people in the same situation have two completely different stories. If your mindset immediately goes into defense mode- you are always going to view a situation in a negative light. Try to remove any emotion or personal attachment to a situation and see how differently the outcome is.
5. Lack of Motivation
People who have a more negative mindset tend to lack the motivation to even try to begin new things (even if those things positively affect you). This can be linked to a sense of fear that you won’t be able to do something, so you shouldn’t even try. Yet again this is your mind playing tricks on you and forcing you to think the habitual negative thought. Next time you are presented with a challenge whether it be an opportunity to try something new, or to complete something – take a few seconds to tell yourself it’s doable. And then prove to yourself it is by getting it done.
6. Rebutting is a Hobby
Constantly refuting something someone else says, having an excuse for everything, or always using the term “but” is a tell-tale sign of negativity. And it’s hard to see any forward positive movement in a conversation with someone who does this. Eventually, people will stop sharing their opinions or asking for advice because they know they’re going to get a negative response back. “Listeners lose interest in hearing what you have to say.” – Lea McLeod. So before you respond, think about what you are going to say. Is it negative? Try changing it to something helpful, or positive. And if you can’t – just listen.
7. Constantly Having Issues
Whether it be work trouble, car trouble, friend trouble, or constant illnesses/doctor visits – there is always something. We don’t mean real-life serious issues. If you feel like you always have something going wrong, it’s not by chance. These issues keep occurring because you’re constantly focusing on the negative. Your mindset’s default is to focus on what’s going wrong and thus creating problems that most likely aren’t even there. You are quick to jump to an issue because the default of your mindset has now turned into scanning to find the negative. Next time you feel like an issue is arising, stop and assess and ask yourself if this is actually something that’s an issue in your life.
8. Minimal Follow Through
You may enjoy starting new tasks, hobbies, challenges, or projects. You get everything needed to begin such as materials, information, space, etc. However, you tend to religiously not complete those tasks. This could be in a lack of interest in the actual thing itself, or it could simply be because of the amount of effort that is required to complete it. But it’s not due to a busy schedule. To change this? Try to break down projects and tasks in small chunks. When you do this, you build momentum each time you accomplish one of those tasks, which will encourage you to keep going – and hey! Now you have completed a project and have even boosted your confidence! Finish what you started.
9. Junk Food is Constant
Hear us out. We’re not saying that eating food that’s not healthy for you is a result of being negative. But according to executive coach, James Pollard if your consistent source of food is junk – this is a type of “self-harm” and it’s “rooted in a poor sense of self-worth”. If you are constantly abusing your body physically especially with food, it could be linked to negative feelings and low self-esteem. To fix this? Try taking small steps to improve this.Try adding in healthier food in your diet, getting more sleep, and adding in a few days a week of exercise – even if it’s just a 15-20 minute walk. Get yourself active and feeling like you are doing positive things for yourself.
10. Having a Victim Mentality
Whether it be news on tv, social media, or news from a friend – you dwell. You tend to have the “woe is me” mindset. This is not because the world is terrible and everything goes wrong, it’s because you tend to focus on the negative and make yourself a victim to it. An easy fix? If it’s something you can’t change, don’t waste your time getting involved. If it has nothing to do with you personally, don’t focus your energy on it.
11. Dwelling on the Past
When your mind is in a negative state, you’re constantly brought to a time when you were not able to do something. Maybe you relate a certain challenge to that time from the past you tried to accomplish it and failed. However, if you’re constantly in a state of, I can’t do that – because you tried before with an outcome you didn’t want – you will never accomplish things you truly desire. Leave each new experience, to its own experience.
What are some ways you have realized you were being negative? Whether it be with yourself, with friends or at work? Comment below!